May 4, 2010

MARRIAGE AND SINGLENESS - TWO GIFTS FROM GOD

Key Verse
"But I say to the unmarried and widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to to burn with passion. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leaver her husband... and that the husband should not divorce his wife." (1 Corinthians 7:8-11)
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Central Truth

Paul is rehabilitating both singleness and marriage as a token of the grace of God, which are sustained only in strength which the Lord daily supplies.

Reflections

Now that Paul has reinstated Christian marriage (early Chapter 7), he speaks to the unmarried (singles, men, women, widows, widowers, etc.) and then to the married. To the unmarried he says it is good for them to remain so, "even as I." However, if you are single yet burning with passion, then he suggests marriage might be the best course of action. David Prior writes, "Incidentally, that phrase 'burn' cannot mean to burst out into lustful acts, but to be so consumed with inward desire that scarcely anything else either matters or can be coolly considered." NOTE: Do not use marriage as a scapegoat. Paul speaks to the pains and hurts one feels when there isn't true commitment to another in a marriage relationship, just physical desire. A marriage cannot be built on physical desire; it will fail. Now, if you long for an intimacy with that person, that's one thing, and marriage should be considered. But if you find yourself physically lusting over another, then you need to reassess your mind and ask Christ to reclaim and wash over that area of your heart. Our powerful God can do that...He reclaims our brokenness.

Exposed to married life, Paul knew there were hardships, pains and heartaches that come from two sinful people living life together as a married couple. Yet he urges, "that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce her" (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). We live in a broken world, just like Corinth, with broken homes, broken hearts, broken souls, and broken marriages. I think Paul is reminding us of grace: to extend that grace specifically to our spouses when things get tough enough to want out. Let us use the strength, only found in Christ Jesus, to die to ourselves and be servants to our loved ones. My prayer is that Christ's example may be carried into our marriages, as a testimony of God's love, grace, and authority to the world.

Discussion Questions

Spend some time praying that God would expose any sin that lurks in your heart. Ask for God to wash you clean and renew your mind. As you think about this devotional throughout the day, pray for the following:

1. If you're single, consider the statement that it is "good" for you to remain unmarried.

2. If you're single and find yourself burning with passion, pray that God protect you from making rash decisions.

3. Pray for any friends/family members who are struggling through separation/divorce. Pray that God may be allowed to come into their hearts and marriage and restore their hurt and pain.

4. Pray that marriage be reclaimed from what it's become in 21st century America.

5. Pray the upcoming generation can recapture what it looks like to live in authority under God, specifically in marriages, and that they may be a light to this dark and broken world.

Comments

The views expressed under “Comments” are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of .

  1. Tori Fowler

    May 4, 2010 05:52 AM

    Great stuff, Lindy Jo! I have been married for 19 years, and I wish I had been as mature in spiritual matters as you seem to be when I was first married!

  2. Lisa Robinson

    May 4, 2010 06:38 AM

    Hi MaryJo. This is indeed a tricky passage for singles because it does appear that Paul is saying being single is better than being married. I would weigh that against other passages honoring marriage, most notably Ephesians 5:22-33, where it is likened to the relationship of Christ and his church. I say that because I have seen many use this passage to infer that being single is more spiritual and I have seen many singles who desire marriage because of the honorable institution it is, struggle with feelings of guilt for not feeling like it is good to be single. Nonetheless, I think Paul's point is contentment in present circumstances. How right you are in your warning about physical desires driving marriage decisions. Marriage is too significant to have it built on faulty foundations. I have done that though not necessarily because of lust, and paid the consequences. Having been in a shaky, unequally yoked marriage was no fun (I am widowed now). As per Paul's prescription here, running away was not an option and finding contentment was a daily chore. I am thankful that God heals our brokenness and can redeem what is lost. I pray that all singles assess the seriousness of what God calls sinful creatures to be towards each other in marriage and desire the best scenario that will honor him. For some, that will be undistracted focus to serve him. For others, that service will be demonstrated through a Christ-centered marriage that can point others to him.

  3. phillip

    May 4, 2010 06:45 AM

    The comment, two sinful people living as a married couple, you may want to be more careful w/your wording. I"ve been w/ the same person for 28yrs. we both attend Fellowship B.C. oh well!! what the heck...

  4. delia

    May 4, 2010 08:20 AM

    Lindy, that hit home! I have been struggling with what my life is suppose to be like (recently divorced)and missing the companionship, partnership...but not knowing what is in store as far as my walk with God and the journey he has planned for me...struggling accepting "being single" and yet not so sure "marriage is teh answer either. So thank you for rminding me to go to teh cross when it gets unbearable. Thanks

  5. Lisa Robinson

    May 4, 2010 08:54 AM

    Ugh, I think I called you Mary Jo in that first comment. Sorry, Lindy Jo.

  6. Kathy Prather

    May 4, 2010 10:43 AM

    LindyJo, Great devotional today...and for me I'm so glad you shared this as you did. I admit many years ago - I did live with my boyfriend and we were not married. We lived as a married couple would in sharing the same bed, and the same house. This for me - was sin. This was not what God desired for me. I had tried to be in relationship with Jesus Christ, but yet at that time I was living in sin. While it seemed like the 'right thing to do' -- based on the values of the world -- I know now, the values I need to be tuned to are God's. This world has nothing for me. The Bible teaches us if we are single - to abstain from intimacy until we are married. Our bodies are the temple of God. Thanks for the devo!

  7. Jeremy Selitto, Join the Journey Coordinator

    May 4, 2010 11:48 AM

    Phillip, I appreciate your willingness to pose your question above. On one hand, I took what Lindy Jo was saying to mean something different than what you meant. I understood her to emphasize the struggle of two people getting married. We are all sinners. When two people get married two sinners are getting married. Thus, hardships, pains and heartaches are bound to come from two sinners coming together in marriage. It's a natural and accepted consequence. On the other hand, I don't want to brush aside you point. Let's talk offline about this. I will email you.

  8. Gary Brandenburg

    May 4, 2010 01:41 PM

    Thanks for the clarification on "burn" LJ. What a great point. Lust is not appropriate either married or single. And marriage will not cure the problem - only the self-control available through the Holy Spirit. May God bless you and Caleb beyond anything you could even imagine in the years ahead.

  9. Mike Heinz

    May 4, 2010 03:16 PM

    Good content on a tough topic. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Linda Knox

    May 4, 2010 05:44 PM

    Thank you for such an insightful devotional. Being one of those "single again" people, it's always good to be encouraged in the place where God has allowed me to be. Thanks for a great word of encouragement!

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Lindy Jo Crutchfield

Lindy Jo Crutchfield

Hello! My name is Lindy Jo Crutchfield and my husband, Caleb, and I have been attending Fellowship for almost 2 years. We've been involved with the Metro service and lead a small group for Young Marrieds. It's been a huge blessing getting to know other couples in the same season of life as us and learn how to lovingly challenge our spouses to be more like Christ. If you aren't in a small group and would like to get connected, email smallgroups@fellowshipdallas.org to get plugged in!